


In the Garden

by Rookmoon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Fluff, Gardens & Gardening, Lots of Food, Multi, Papyrus Meddles in the least subtle way he can, Puns & Word Play, Stargazing, food thief, i'm trying to figure out how to do this, soft, softer horrortale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rookmoon/pseuds/Rookmoon
Summary: Someone is stealing your vegetables, and you're determined to find out who.When you do, you decide that it might be a better idea to feed the poor guy. He's all bones.





	In the Garden

     It’s a sunny day. The air is crisp and clear. A glance at the sky reveals a handful of fluffy white clouds and the bright blue sky. A breeze is brushing against your face. Leaves from the oak tree rustle. You’re on your knees pulling weeds. A small pile of the buggers is growing on the grass of your lawn. It’s the ideal way to spend an afternoon. The sight of neat rows of vegetables and surrounding flowers that make up a good portion of your yard is a satisfying sight to see.

     You smile at the progress that you’ve made over the hour that you’ve been working in the vegetable patch. You’re pretty sure that there’s at least a little bit of dirt smudged onto your face, and there’s a lot more dirt on your pants but you don’t mind that. You stand and brush yourself off a little bit. When you cast the thick gloves to the ground where you left off for a break, you notice something strange. You can’t quite put your finger on it.

     You go inside for a glass of water, and that’s when you notice. There are less vegetables than there were last week. You hadn’t picked any, and you hadn’t given any away. There was no explanation to your missing plants that didn’t alarm you. If someone was getting into your yard and helping themselves to your food, you’d need to find out who and why. If they’re getting into your yard, would they try to get into your house?

     The only thing is, there’s no real way you could figure that out, unless you catch the thief red handed. You think about this plan while finishing your glass of water. You set the cup on the sink and go back out to finish your work for the day. The plants still need to be watered and you have other chores to do before the day is done.

     Hours pass and it’s dark outside. You’re in the living room when you think you hear something thunk against your fence. It’s a strange sound, saying as your neighbors have always gone to bed early.

     They would come to the front door if they needed something from you.

     You stand, taking silent steps toward the kitchen. You grab a heavy duty flashlight out of a drawer. The one that you could do some damage with if you need to. You creep closer to the door. You look through the back window. The garden is dark. Something is moving in the shadows. You wonder why the motion light hasn’t turned on. You hold the flashlight tight. The door creaks open. Too slowly. Too quickly. The beam of the flashlight cuts through the darkness. You see a blue hoodie. A head. A bunch of food. A skeleton turns toward you. A glowing eye gleams. He’s holding some bell peppers. You see half of a crazed smile. The light doesn’t show you enough. He steps behind the oak. He’s gone.

     You stumble through the house. When you reach your phone, you dial 911.

     “There was a skeleton in my backyard!” The words come out as a rushed whisper.

     “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear that.  What’s your emergency?”

     “There was a skeleton. In my garden.” Your eyes dart around the living room like the skeleton is going to jump out of the wallpaper.

     “Is the skeleton still in your garden?” The lady on the other end sighs.

     “Well, no. He was there though!”

     “Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

     “But what about-”

     “Please have a good night.”

     The line goes dead. She hung up on you.

     You go around your house, locking all of the doors and windows. Hopefully that will keep the skeleton thief out. If not, you don’t know what you’ll do. You fall asleep on the couch with an old bat in your arms, covered in a fuzzy blanket.

     The skeleton, cursing the small fence that surrounds your garden, returns to take two onions and a handful of peas before vanishing into the night.

     When you wake up the sun is high, and you’re wondering why there’s a bat half stuck in the couch. When you pull it out and go to put it away, you remember. A skeleton had ransacked your garden and made off with some of your vegetables. You wonder if it’s the same skeleton that had taken some of them before.

     The next night, you stay up late again. Instead of being inside, you think it might be a better idea to wait in the yard. There are plenty of bushes to hide behind if you know how to do it. You opt for the oak instead. Nobody looks up when sneaking around in the middle of the night.

     That seems to be the case with your skeletal thief as well as humans. You’re sitting on a large branch, picking at a leaf when he appears on the grass. He carefully steps over the small fence and starts poking around. You watch for half a minute before you decide to act.

     Your landing on the ground isn’t exactly loud, but the sound of your feet hitting dirt is enough for the monster to tense. Splintered bones erupt from the ground around you. Upturned dirt flies through the air. You hold your hands up, showing that you aren’t armed.

     “I just want to know what you’re doing in my garden.”

     “so you’re gonna drop in on me out of nowhere?”

     The glow of the magic bones tell you that the skeleton looks confused. Confused and very startled.

     “Why don’t we, uh, talk this out. Please, call off the bones.”

     “i might leaf them for a while.”

     Puns? You can do puns. Maybe it’ll get the guy to back off.

     “That’s no way to treet someone.”

     He sputters a little. “this seems like a twig, but fine.”

     The bones dissipate with a wave of his hand. You slowly step closer to the skeleton. He watches closely as you approach until you’re close enough to see what he has in the makeshift pouch of his hoodie. Some of the bright purple borage from the flowerbed, red peppers, dill, cloves and garlic heads are neatly arranged around a single head of lettuce.

     The light sensor is triggered, and you see that this skeleton looks much worse than he did under the cover of darkness. His skull looks strange, and the smile he’s wearing looks tight around the edges. Like he would rather not be seen. Well, he would probably want that, saying as he’s standing in your garden in pink slippers of all things.

     “I saw you last night.” You take a closer look at the skeletons face. One of his eyes is glowing red. The other is black as pitch. There are small scratches around one of his sockets. Like a scab that he can’t stop scratching. His head has a fair amount of other scratches as well. Some are deeper than others, but it almost hurts you to look at them.

     “i figured.”

     Your eyes wander to the curve of his skull. Angry cracks meander over a small portion of it, leading to a gaping hole in the side of his skull. Maybe it was hit with something? He could have fallen. Really, anything could have happened. He shifts. His left hand twitches like he wants to grab onto something. The silence is getting uncomfortable. He doesn’t seem interested in breaking it, so you do instead.

     “Why did you come to my garden?”

     “‘m hungry. why else would i get food?” He’s watching. You know he is, but you can’t help staring at the hole in his head, and the food in his hoodie. “besides, you’re not garden this patch very well. just a tiny fence to trip people.”

     “What happened to you?”

     “gotta be at least a level five friend to unlock the tragic backstory, pal.”

     “Well, if you’re hungry, I can grab some snacks for you.” You turn towards the house, keeping him in the corner of your eye. He definitely looks hungry. “I’ll be right back.”

     Somehow, you end up with the skeleton sitting in your kitchen.

     “So, what’s your name?” You ask, taking out a pan to heat up some really good leftovers you had made earlier in the day.

     “sans. the skeleton.”

     “That’s clever. A skeleton without a skeleton.” You chuckle. “Kinda funny.”

     “glad to hear you think so.”

     You hear something strange and look to see what it is. It’s Sans scratching at the back of his head.

     “so…. what’s your name, human?”

     You tell him your name and set a plate in front of him. By the time you sit down with your plate, his is empty. You give him more. You see the new plate of food disappear in large chunks.

     “So, what were you doing in my garden, anyways?”

     “i like vegetables. yours are dill-icious. couldn’t resist.”

     “Why are you back so soon? You were here just last night.” You look down at your food, thinking about what you’re going to say next.

     “look, i got somewhere to be. as much as i’d like to stay and chat, i mustard go.”

     When you look up again, Sans is gone. The plate is on the table. Completely clean.

     A few months pass. You catch him sneaking into the garden some nights. Other times, you know he’s been there. Your garden’s fruits are dwindling by the time you decide that this can’t go on for much longer. Most nights, you are able to talk the skeleton into your house, hoping that if you feed him enough, he’ll stop pillaging your veggies. He doesn’t, so you start leaving out bags of non perishable food. You’ve had more cans of things than you know what to do with for a while, and you know that they’ll be used if they go with the skeleton. The nightly visits happen a little less often. You find yourself missing the company, but you still leave bags on the porch, just on case.

     It’s after you start leaving the bags that he shows up again. This time, he’s at your front door. When you answer the door, you see that it’s not just Sans. This time, there’s another skeleton with him. This one is much, much taller than Sans. He’s so tall that he has to hunch over a little to see into the doorway.

     The second thing you notice is the teeth. They’re sharp, brittle, crooked things. It looks excruciatingly painful.

     “HELLO, HUMAN. I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS. IT IS A PLEASURE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.” His voice booms through your house, and you do your best not to jump. Instead, you smile at the spindly nightmare skeleton you see looming in the door.

     “bro, you don’t have to be that formal.”

     “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Papyrus.” You step aside to let them in. “Feel free to make yourselves at home.” You already know that Sans is going to be comfortable just about wherever he is. You’re not so sure about his brother. You’ve heard plenty of praise for this monster from Sans, but any time you tried to ask about him, he would clam up. You wonder what changed enough for him to bring his brother to meet you.

     “Would you guys like something to eat? Drink?”

     “the usual would be nice. thanks, pal.”

     “OHH, DO YOU HAVE ANY PASTA?”

     You go into the kitchen and grab a bottle of ketchup, and microwave a plate of spaghetti along with a burger. By the time you get back into the living room, Sans is laying on your arm chair, and Papyrus is perched on the couch next to him. You hand over the plates and the condiment and Papyrus’s eye sockets widen.

     “THANK YOU SO MUCH, HUMAN!!! THIS KIND IS MY FAVORITE!!!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?”

     You just tilt your head a little bit. Papyrus looks absolutely thrilled about the food.

     He eats the pasta with gusto as Sans smothers his sandwich with ketchup and demolishes the thing. When you go back in the kitchen, you think you hear Papyrus tell Sans to get a move on before someone else comes along. You don’t know what they mean, and put it out of your mind.

     They eat like this meal is going to be their last.

     When they finish the food, Papyrus looks at his brother and tilts his head. Sans nods, looking at a corner of the coffee table. You feel like something important is going right over your head. Papyrus nods happily.

     “So… pal. my bro and i were wondering if you’d like to come to our place for a change. i know i come by a lot, but he wants to get to know you better too.”

     “That’s fine with me.” You smile at the brothers. “I’ve been wanting to get to know you two better as well.”

     A few weeks pass, and you find yourself more and more comfortable with the skeleton brothers and their shenanigans. Mostly, harmless pranks from both sides and plenty of bad jokes to go around. Papyrus pretends not to like them, but you catch him laughing to himself too often for that to be the case.

     One day, you’re visiting them when Papyrus corners you in the living room, asking for help in the kitchen. You get the feeling that there’s something else going on here as you follow him into the other room. “HUMAN, I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING PERSONAL. WOULD THAT BE ALRIGHT?”

     “Sure. Ask away, Paps!”

     “HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT- SANS WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?”

     You turn to see the lazy skeleton leaning against the doorway.

     “nothin’ much. mostly wanting to make sure nothing happens.” Sans winks at his brother, who puts his huge hands on his hips.

     “SIGH. CONSIDER THIS AN INTERVENTION, BROTHER. THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. I’VE WATCHED THE COMPLEX EMOTIONS ON YOUR FACE SINCE BEFORE THE HUMAN STARTED COMING TO VISIT SO OFTEN.”

     Sans looks at his brother like he had just blown up the kitchen again. “you know, i was gonna do it eventually…”

     “I’M TIRED OF WAITING, AND I’M SURE THEY ARE AS WELL.”

     “but paps…”

     “WHY DON’T YOU JUST ASK THEM?? IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU, SANS.”

     Tense silence thickens in the kitchen. You try to edge out of the room, but Papyrus’s sharp gaze pins you down. You’re not going anywhere without hearing what he has to say.

     The only reason you know this is that once you tried to get out of it and he just followed you around talking louder than usual. Before that, you hadn’t known it was possible.

     “I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DATE MY BROTHER. HE’S TOO LAZY TO DO IT HIMSELF AND I’M TIRED OF WAITING FOR HIM.”

     Your first date with the skeleton is a week later, on a clear evening. The air is fresh and crisp. The sun is spreading its fiery brilliance across the horizon as it sets. You’re sitting on a mountainside waiting for the stars. It’s ridiculously romantic, and you love every bit of it. When the telescope is set, and the sky is dark, you lean back onto the blanket and look up. You’re far enough from the city that the light doesn’t hinder the breathtaking view of the sky. You’re so glad you get to come see this.

     “It’s beautiful out here tonight.” You murmur.

     “yeah. just like you. star-tlingly beautiful.”

     You don’t know if you should laugh, but you feel flattered. Sans flirting is nice to hear. It helps you feel special.

     “I’m star-ting to think you brought me up here just to make jokes.”

     You send a joking smile to the skeleton and find that he isn’t looking at the wide display of the heavens. He’s looking at you like you put every star in the sky just for him to see. You find yourself glad that you caught him in your garden all those months ago. Otherwise, you never would have met him or his brother in the first place.


End file.
